I have been in a terrible struggle the past month to discern God's will for the upcoming summer. To stay, to go, to earn, to invest, to fellowship, to serve... what is the best choice? Just as soon as I think I've got God all figured out and I have all my plans laid out in front of me... He goes and changes it up, just to remind me that He is in control- not me. It's a humbling thing, but I always realize in that moment that He deserves to be in control- He knows everything! Just a little food for thought.
Also, recently I've finally had that moment where everything clicks. That is, all the Scripture and sermons that have trickled through my little Christian mind for the past 12 years have finally formed a pool in my brain and fell in a downpour to my heart. All my life I have heard about suffering for the Gospel and straining toward what is ahead, forgetting about temporary things... and it's finally starting to make sense. I can't believe I've held back this long!
Take for example the girl I met in the laundry room of my dorm this weekend. It all started with asking for a quarter, and the conversation ended talking about baptism and an invitation to church. I didn't have to make the transition from talking about broken change machines to asking about her faith. I didn't have to painstakinly plan out a way to take her to church. The truth is, we both could have left after her simple quarter question, and her eternal life would have been left unquestioned. But then, where is the suffering in that? Where are the blistered feet?
In a Bible study I've been going through with girls from my church, we've been reading about the cost of discipleship in Luke 14. I had read all these things about suffering and losing everything for the sake of the Gospel... but how do I actually play that out in my life? For some reason, in my quiet time the morning before I met Megan in the laundry room, something overwhelmed me and simply clicked. I'm so glad it did, because since then I have been able to speak to her, and athiest, and a close friend about the Gospel and Christianity. I'm not professing to be perfect at this whole thing- in fact, I constantly fail to speak up to people I know the Lord is convicting me to talk to. And that is sin. But I've noticed that, by getting out of my comfort zone and asking the tough questions to complete strangers, my passion for the Gospel and its fame has become more than a passing flicker. Although it isn't quite contagious just yet, my passion is growing more and more into a wildfire instead of just a candlelight. I can gain true joy out of knowing the Lord by watching others come to know Him as well, and it will become contagious!
I encourage you to step out this week. Talk to someone you don't even know- you have no way of telling who is hurting, questioning, or seeking until you talk to them! Don't feel trapped in the Christian bubble. Seek God, but also seek His opportunities!
"Anyone who does not carry his cross and follow me cannot be my
disciple." -Luke 14:27