From the babbling tangent that I go on all the time inside my head, the only response I seem to find is confusion. There is never peace. I want something, but I don't know if it is God or my sinful nature that is causing me to want it. Or I love something so much that I feel like it shouldn't be mine. (But that's an entirely different topic I could rant for hours about!)
The truth is, no matter what, God's way is always the best way and the ONLY way. So no matter what decision I make, selfish or selfless, God will always work it out for His good. I'm beginning to understand Romans 8:28 so much better now- all things work together for HIS good, and it will always end up being for our good in the long run! But what about those constant questions? Proverbs 16:9 says "In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps." No matter how much I debate and try to prove something for myself, God ultimately has the whole thing under His control. He knows where we're going, and He knows the plans He has for me. In the last few weeks, I have constantly repeated Jeremiah 29:11-13-
"For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."The Lord does have plans for each of us, and if we seek Him with all our hearts, He will make Himself and His will known to us! That doesn't mean we are going to know every tiny detail of our lives. Sometimes we will have to step out in faith, following the Lord wherever we feel that He may be leading us. But the constant battles of the mind can easily be put to ease by simply praying "Thy will be done." If we make decisions based on wise counsel, sacrificial living, and an eye on the ultimate & eternal prize, we can rest assured that God will work out the rest.
Thy will be done, Lord.