Monday, November 29, 2010

Day 28: Something that stresses me out

This is such a funny topic for me to discuss... I am so easily prone to stress out about things, and it's not a good thing. I cram my schedule way too much, I plan way too far in advance for things, I freak out about money and graduating and upholding friendships and getting homework done on time with excellence. It all stresses me out. And towards the end of every single semester, I begin to stress way too much about my grades- and every single semester, I've come out with fabulous grades that I didn't need to worry about at all! Currently, Christmas is stressing me out. I hate when I can't find that one perfect gift, you know?

Something I've realized recently, though, is that I haven't really been stressed. Things have been really good. The financial issues that I thought would be bad are actually turning out to be okay, my classes have been really easy, I've been able to keep a consistent time with the Lord most days, I'm keeping myself healthy, and I've had quite a bit of free time. Of course, it's the end of the semester, so that means it's time to start stressing about grades- although I really shouldn't. But overall, God has just been so GOOD this semester! His goodness has overwhelmed me. He has blessed me so much with people and circumstances, and I'm grateful. I'm not stressed.

As I look forward into my future, though, I stress a little. I stress about being an ESL teacher- contrary to popular belief, it will not be easy. I often leave class a tad depressed and already stressed about my future career, but that only drives me more to become the best teacher I can be and to help those who are already in the career! Maybe I'm way too self-motivated... but I really want this. I just want to help those who get overlooked. But it will not be easy, and I'm starting to see that. In the midst of it all, I shouldn't be stressed- I really need to learn to trust! It's been incredible to see how God has taught me to rely on Him and to have times of peace, no matter what... and I think I need to re-learn that lesson.

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