As the semester unwinds and my heart comes alive, I can't help but wonder what parts of life have passed by unknowingly in the months of busy business. The long nights and longer days full of TWS editing and lesson creating are gone for the time being, and my soul skips to bed around 10:30 or so as I check off the last thing on my to-do list. I never finish a to-do list. After a season of swimming with my head just above the surface, gasping for a sweet breath of air, it is nice to take a breather on a raft in the middle of a cool ocean. He is good like that. In allowing myself to learn how to rest, He has made it easier to lean against the wall of His protective hands. I don't have to go through the busy seasons alone and on my own. I don't even have to depend on myself to get a 60-minute quiet time wedged into my day every single day. Rather, He provides time by His own sweet grace.
He provides it through beautiful days and long, painful runs. Between the gasps of air, I breathe You provide enough. That's just it- He provides just enough life, breath, and oxygen to get me to the next mile marker. He provides me with just enough life, breath, alertness, and motivation to get me to the next task, list, responsibility, and bedtime. He teaches me these lessons as I'm struggling for physical strength to make it the next 1/4 mile.
He provides quiet time through anxious moments at school. When I walk up and down the hallway, tension rising in my bones from people or deadlines or crazy students, I breathe You are my Creator. My exaltation of Him in the most stressful moments causes my days to feel so tiny and non-dramatic. I like it that way. He gives me an eternal perspective and Creator-sized perspective so that I can give kind attention to each student and handle each stressful situation with an attitude and words which say You are my Creator, and You have an eternal purpose for me. My dreams and ambitions and situations don't seem nearly as enormous when I think of it that way. Not even the 70-something page Teacher Work Sample can intimidate me.
Life has passed by me in a blink, and I wonder where all of the Spring semester has gone. I could wish that I had invested more, prayed more, loved more, done more, planned more, or smiled more, but in the end I know that He still loves me and provides me with enough grace to do all of those things, upon His strength, tomorrow. Today, even. So rather than feeling saddened and regretful about how Spring 2012 has passed by in a blink, I will rejoice in the opportunity to make the most of it today. He has given me more than I could ever have asked for or imagined, and I am so so thankful for the opportunity to learn that through my weaknesses.
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