Monday, September 2, 2013

Before You Doubt

She bites her lip. Frozen, her eyes lock on every single red car that could possibly be hers. Will today be the day that she's left behind? I see the familiar, frightened face and pat her on the back. "Have they ever let you down?" I say. "Someone is always here to pick you up after school; sometimes they just don't come as early as you expect." She glances my way, nervous and unsure, and a tear slips down her face. I've seen this look so many times before. Since the first day of school, she has questioned whether or not her family will be there to pick her up from Car Rider line, and every day they have shown up for their precious daughter. They would never forget their sweet girl.

I could become frustrated with her perpetual doubt, but I can't do that. Doubt is too familiar to me. Sometimes I stare out my classroom window, frozen and afraid, wondering if I was truly made to succeed at my job. If the Lord really wanted me to be placed in a wonderful school to follow the work of an excellent teacher working with students who have incredible potential. I glance around new places, uncertain, as I meet new people and struggle to fit in to the life of a post-college-newlywed in a new-ish town. Will God truly be there for me and provide for me and comfort me?

And all the while, He looks down from Heaven and whispers in my ear "Emily, have I ever let you down?"
Well, Lord, not really.

Glance back and remember how He's been faithful and you'll wish you never doubted. Remember all those times when He provided and comforted and blessed and loved... and all those worries will quickly wash away. Sure, the doubt will disappear when He miraculously rounds the corner in His red car right after the school bell rings, and we can skip happily to the car, but until then He wants us to trust that He'll be there in the just-right timing.

"What no eye has seen, what no ear has heard, and what no human mind has conceived-- the things God has prepared for those who love him-- these are the things God has revealed to us by His Spirit." -1 Cor. 2:9-10

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