It has come over me fast... that awful feeling of longing for someone that you can't get to. In this case, I don't even know where that person is. I want to help them, bring them close to me, tell them about Jesus, and kiss their cute little head all over. It's a sweet little boy in Guatemala. I don't even know his name- all I know is that he lived in a little village somewhere in the middle of nowhere. The people there didn't even speak Spanish, the village was so remote! They spoke an ancient Mayan language.Anyway, out of lack of anything better to do tonight, I started looking through my old pictures on my laptop- and came across my long-lost Guatemala pictures. I went on a mission trip there this summer and fell in love with the kids and Jesus. And ever since then, my heart has been hopelessly fallen for them! This precious boy, the one that I keep coming back to, may never know of the love of Jesus. Language barriers are so frustrating; all I could do was give him a lollipop, take pictures of him, and hope someone will come along and tell him about Jesus. My heart literally aches for Boy and the rest of his friends & family... where will they go when they die? How do they feel falling asleep every night with a nearly empty stomach? Will they ever recognize the satisfaction of peace with God? My heart (and stomach) are in turmoil... I wish so badly to be with him right now. To hug him so hard that he'll never be hungry again, to give him hope in Jesus, and just to give him what he needs. The crazy thing is, he is so happy! Even without food and adequate shelter, he seems so radiant. If only I could see his face when Jesus is a part of it!
Sitting here on my basement couch, crying over Boy's picture, I feel so useless. Why are my hands not reaching out to Boy and his family? Why am I here, struggling and whining through a couple hard classes, worrying about relationships and what meat I'm going to have on my Subway sandwich? I want the simple life back- kids and Jesus. No huge malls to waste my money in, no drama, no worries about the next president or bad hair days. Just helping others spiritually and physically. That is what I long for, but who knows if it's God's will? I don't know. I hope He'll reveal it to me, because I'm miserable right now. I'm definitely not feeling peace. I miss Boy.