Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Pry open my hands, God, and take it all away.

Sometimes I feel like the air I breathe causes other people harm.
I have this markerboard that I leave propped up against the mirror on the bathroom countertop that is constantly being updated with prayer requests and concerns that need to be lifted up to the Lord, and I feel like that markerboard has been put to extra-special use here lately. Sickness, pain, and discord... 3 things I do not handle well... they have inflicted an alarming amount of people who are close to me.

I could say that I have handled it well. And honestly, if you look at it from the outside, it would seem that I am completely calm and trusting. But the turmoil that's been going on inside my mind is more than I care to have to confess!
It's funny how I think that I can handle things on my own. I've always been that girl- the one who hates group projects because I have to rely on other people to get something done, the one who takes matters into her own hands, the one who can never say no to anything. It's a problem, and it isn't something I say with much pride. And to top it all off, it completely ruins my faith & trust in God.

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and
petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God,
which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in
Christ Jesus." -Phil. 4:6-7

"'But if you can do anything, take pity on us and help us.' 'If you can?' said
Jesus. 'Everything is possible for him who believes.' Immediately the boy's
father exlaimed, 'I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!'" -Mark 9:22-24

I feel so overwhelmed and burdened with all these things I feel that I need to be taking to the Lord. I know that He can change the course of their lives and heal according to His will, but for some reason I continue to cling to the idea that nothing can happen unless I have something to do with that process. I'm letting go and letting God handle it all... He is a good God, He loves us, and He is big enough to handle all of the requests and needs of the entire world- which is a little crazy to think about! And none of this is by my own power. Not one ounce of it.

One more thing. Go to this link, which talks about the precious Burmese people that I have come to love- many go to my church. This awful persecution affects even the refugees that live in Bowling Green, for they have many close family members and friends who will be sent back into Burma. My heart burns for them... would you please pray for them?

"Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the
man who takes refuge in Him!" -Psalm 34:8


  1. "Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light." Matt. 11:28-30 !!! Teman, percaya Dia. Tuhan kuat ada! He really is! So strong and fearless, yet trustworthy and gracious at the same time! He is Abba Father! King of Kings and Lord of Lords! Give it to Him, dear friend. I am going through a very similar situation right now... Berdoa untuk kamu.

  2. We are so much alike... it is hard to give it to God even though I know in my mind He is able. I still want to have some sort of control or help in some way. Thank you for writing about this- I needed to be reminded of these words =]

  3. The more I read your blog the more I see we have several things in common, one being we like to think we can handle things on our own, but the reality is learning to give everything up to the Lord. I know how hard it can be to not just want to fix things on your own, but trust that the Lord will take care of it. I had a dose of learning this exact thing this summer while I was away and it seemed so many people needed me back home, when in reality it was the fact I needed to give all my burdens to the Lord! Thanks for sharing your stuggle. Praying for you sister.