Spoken in the Classroom, Part 2

I finished my last day at my first real teaching job just a few weeks ago, and my life is now full of applications and interviews for jobs in this new town. And I'm nervous. I kind of stink at interviewing, because I can't think on my feet and my body turns red and I sweat a lot... enough that when they ask me to give 5 words that describe me, I tell them "sweaty." Oh geez.

But let's not forget the little sweeties that I taught not too long ago, and their funny and naive little sayings. I mostly teach students who do not speak English as their first language, so naturally our conversations revolve around confusion over a word or phrase in English. But sometimes it goes deeper than that, to reveal a part of their past that makes me shift in my seat and bury my eyebrows because-- truly-- these kids have seen some things with their young eyes that a Kentucky girl only sees in movies. And it makes me even more passionate about welcoming our immigrants & refugees to this country with open arms.

So here they are, some quotes by my favorite kiddos, spoken in the classroom:

On learning English and its strange food names:
"J why didn't you get a hotdog for lunch?"
(*eyes wide, terrified*) "What is a hot dog?!?!"

On teachers' lives outside of school:
Me: "I'm running in a big race this weekend."
Student: "Ew. Why are you telling me about your big person life?"

On teachers' lives inside school:
Me: "Today we are going to read in my room instead of in the hallway."
Student: (after being in the room for about 15 minutes) "Mrs. Dahl, I don't see your bed. Where do you sleep?"

On the newest perfume:
Student A: "Something smells like dried-up corn."
Student B: "Oh yeah, it's my pants."

On favorite vacation spots:
"Tomorrow night I'm going camping with my dad in our backyard. We're going to sleep in a chicken coop. It's beautiful there."

On the art of storytelling:
"This weekend I was shakin' and vibratin' to the music with my cousin, and I hurt my heel! And then I wanted a bag of chips."

On things that kids shouldn't experience:
"A hut is a house. I lived in a hut. But it got burned down by mean men so we had to leave."

On my hair:
"Oh Mrs. Dahl, your hair is so sparkly!!!"
"Can I call you Mrs. Curly Fries?"
"How does your hair do that twisted-mctwister thing?"

Spoken in the Classroom

I have been working full-time as an elementary teacher for 4 full weeks now, and it has been the best experience ever! I'm getting paid to do something that thrills me, even when the days stretch long.

Who are my students? I spend my days teaching over 30 different students, ranging from K-5th grade. A few speak English as their native language, but most are still learning the basics of the language... which is most of the reason why I am there. But no matter where the kids come from, they truly do say the darndest things to me!

I can't keep this stuff to myself. They just make me so happy. So here is the first installment of "Spoken in the Classroom"... or multiple classrooms, which is really more the case for me.

On adult social lives:
Me: (when teaching on weather) "My friends took pictures of hail this weekend; I'll show you a picture tomorrow."
Them: "Wait, but you're a big person. You don't have friends!"

On co-worker relationships:
"Are you my teacher's granddaughter?"

On side effects:
(whispered) "The dentist said I can't talk because I have a cavity. So I can't read to you for, like, a really long time."

On parents and dating:
"Wait, I think I know you. My dad brought a girl like you home with him before."

On my ravishing good looks:
"Is your name Mrs. Dahl because you look like a Barbie doll?" (um, no.)

On those mean ol' teachers:
"Do teachers like Spring Break? Because I think they just want us to go to school all the time."

On sucking up for prizes:
"I just love learning, Mrs. Dahl; if I could learn all day long I probably would!" (yeah right)