Why God is the Perfect Date (and I'm not)

Have I ever told you about our first Valentine's Day as a married couple? Probably not, because I made it pretty awful for both of us. To my credit, I had spent a whole day subbing for an inner-city kindergarten class on one of the craziest school days of the year-- attempting to coordinate the exchange of cards and settling down 28 unfamiliar kids on a sugar high-- but my mood wasn't exactly the one you wanted around for the Day of Love. As always, D was kind and loving, but I was moody and acting weird and not being very appreciative of the awesome dinner he made and the thoughtful gift he surprised me with. Feelings were hurt. Hearts were definitely not nurtured. My moodiness definitely reigned on.

Wouldn't it be nice if we were all stable, calm, thoughtful people who did not act on whims of emotion or harbored bitterness? Our relationships would look a lot more peaceful; forgiveness would be simple; unconditional love would be effortless.

I know no one who is so predictable.

"The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love. He will not always accuse, nor will He harbor His anger forever. He does not treat us as our sins deserve, or repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is His love for those who fear Him. As far as the EAST is from the WEST..." -Ps. 103:8-12ish

I'm thankful for a God who is not moody, indecisive, or unpredictable. He doesn't act on a whim of emotion or harbor any bitterness-- rather, He LOVES and does everything for us consistently out of LOVE. What human do I know that remains the same, even in emotion? What man is predictable by nature, 100% of the time? None! He'd be the perfect date; an even better husband. He is the same everyday, regardless of how I hurt Him or slay Him or ignore Him. He continues to be the same, loving God!

Why is this so difficult for us to comprehend? Why, although we know His predictable nature, do we continue to believe the lie that our sins will take away His love? He is not like any human-- His nature is unfathomable.

Praise Him in His predictability, and rest in the knowledge that He never, ever changes.

When Life Interrupted

Photo Credit: OSL

One year ago, life interrupted our plans.

One week before saying "I Do," the Lord said "I do not think you trust Me enough."

One month after being married, we were renters of a precious apartment but wondered how on Earth we would get rent paid.

And yet, in the midst of it all, He was crafting a beautiful lesson. We asked, and He provided... sometimes in the strangest (and, therefore, most obvious) ways.

Jobs.

Just enough grocery money.

Conditioner (right when I needed it).

Interviews.

Acceptance Letters.

And finally, as we surprisingly make our way back to our my college town/his hometown, we see Him provide yet again through a rental home. We didn't ask to be pampered; we didn't expect the Lord to show us a home that exceeded our (but mostly my) expectations. And yet He choose to bless us.

One year ago, before life interrupted our plans, I trusted in myself and my skills to provide for myself. He brought us through the fire and hammered out our hearts until now, one year later, we are praising Him for every blessing and acknowledging Him as our wonderful Provider.

"One of the most amazing revelations of God comes to us when we learn that it is in the everyday things of life that we realize the magnificent deity of Jesus Christ." -Oswald Chambers

My Valentine

"It was so very good of God to let me dreams come true,
to note a young girl's cherished hopes, then lead her right to you;
So good of Him to take such care in little, detailed parts
(He knows how much details mean to young and wishful hearts)..."

-Ruth Bell Graham

We spent our 4th Valentine's Day together this past week, and this one celebrated as a married couple taught me more about marriage, selflessness, and true unconditional love than any of the previous "love"-filled days put together. I'm thankful for a husband who loves me in a sanctifying way; for the opportunity to learn more about how selfish I truly am in order to learn how to truly love him and other people without also serving myself. Without me even knowing it, God paired us together to take care of the itty bitty details that I didn't even know my heart needed in a husband.

Marriage is refining like that.

Our 2012 Christmas Card

I'll admit I'm not on the top of my game for Christmas. I decorated our apartment in a frenzy upon returning to the States 15 days before Christmas, but you won't be receiving a Christmas card from the Dahls for their first married Christmas and you definitely won't be seeing us hosting a Christmas party. But it's okay because I'm back in America and I'm soaking up a lot of relaxing time at home with my husband and close friends. In my home. Eating a lot of cookies. So here is our own Christmas card of sorts, with a recap of my/our 2012:

2012 has been perfect in so many ways, yet I have never been so s-t-r-e-t-c-h-e-d as I was this year. And there were LOTS of big milestones hit!! Shall we look at the highlights?

1. Foot surgery happened at the end of 2011, but I kicked off the first few minutes of 2012 by attempting to play Just Dance in my parents' living room in my awesome post-op shoes. It was interesting. My new walking skills were compared to those of a stork, baby fawn, and a one-year-old child. Needless to say, we grew as a soon-to-be-married couple when he carried me to the bathroom and washed my hair for me. How cute. One year later, I have beautifully scarred and bunion-less feet!

2. With the wedding coming up, I spent all of my free time creating wedding things and attending bridal showers. I have sweet friends! When I wasn't doing schoolwork, my days were consumed with creating boutonnieres and finding the right clothes for the bridal party. David helped eat shower food and nod his head in approval of every item we registered for. Actually, that last part isn't 100% true. Woohoo for wedding planning!

3. Big Milestone #1: Renting our first home. One week before the wedding, we moved into the most PRECIOUS townhouse apartment in Louisville. I love love love our first home; it has been a huge joy to spend our first year of marriage in this area!

4. Big Milestone #2: Marriage. On May 19, I married my best friend and promised to love him forever. It has only gotten better since then, and I'm oh-so-thankful for a husband who has grown and matured in 7 months SO much more than I ever could have anticipated. The love fern we planted on that first day of marriage is still thriving in our living room, even though D didn't water it for the entire month I was out of the country... even so, the fern thrives!!! What does that tell you about our AWESOME marriage?! We also went on a honeymoon to Jamaica, where we stuffed ourselves with good food and slept like there was no tomorrow. Weddings are exhausting.

5. With our wedding over, it was time to get ready for another family matrimony! David's sister Jamie got married to sweet Blake in August. We went to lots of weddings for friends this year, but this one was definitely the most special. I loved getting to meet many of David's family members and spend some time getting to know them. And now, even more exciting news... we will be aunt and uncle to sweet little Brantley in May!! We're so excited for the Harwoods!!!

7. Big Milestone #3: Student teaching. D worked full-time (and usually overtime) at his job so that I would be able to do student teaching without worrying about working. That man is a GEM. Student teaching was a precious experience that confirmed for me what the Lord has created me to do. I loved teaching those 1st and 3rd graders, but it certainly kept me busy! Through my students, I learned to see the gifts that God truly has placed in each individual person that could uniquely give Him glory. I learned to embrace the gifts He has given me so that I can serve Him in the best way I know how. One artistically-gifted child chose to depict me on a unicorn, riding on a rainbow, as a departing gift for me... how ironic.

8. The last month of my student teaching was spent in Quito, Ecuador. I worked with a kinder class and a wonderful teacher in a K-12 bilingual (ish) school. D was such a trooper for letting me go on this trip that I had planned for since sophomore year of college, and I am so thankful!! This month was a strengthener in our marriage and an affirmation that we definitely work better together than apart.

9. Big Milestone #4: Graduation! Less than a week after returning to the States, we graduated from college! This is a photo of the other student teacher at my elementary school. It was so sweet to graduate with each of the people who worked so hard with me to complete each semester. I'm thankful for WKU and all that it has meant to me over the past 4 1/2 years. I've got prospects for teaching jobs in the future, but I'll share more when things are more definite!

That's our 2012 in review. It was a big year for us with a LOT of changes... but we are looking forward to 2013 with big expectations and lots of hope! Merry Christmas :)

Love,

The Dahls

Provision

I'm sitting here, at 11:15 pm (way past my bedtime), finding myself extremely grateful. I am sitting in a wonderfully sweet little home with a husband sleeping upstairs and blueberry muffins baking for him to find in the morning (don't tell, it's a surprise). And I'm able to have a little bit of Emily time to read and blog with our newly-installed Internet!

We've been thrown a lot of different decisions and challenges in the last few months, but tonight I am grateful for the ways that the Lord has provided. He provides in the little things- bottles of conditioner, pictures from first graders, timely envelopes in the mail. At every turn and every expense, we meet our Provider face-to-face and can't find any reason to blame anything on coincidence. I am humbled to realize that He etched His plans for our lives into stone from the very beginning, and He has only good prepared for us. And in my opinion, marrying David Carl was one of the best parts of that plan, because I am able to journey through all of this together with him!

Slow down and notice- He provides little things every day. He provides tiny lunch breaks with my ever-wise supervising teacher so that I can rest and learn from someone who is way more experienced at handling 6-year-olds in the classroom. He provides Sunday afternoons so that I can spend time with my family and catch up on all the work I have for the following week. He provides just enough food so that we can eat healthfully and well until the next budget month. And even on limited funds, we are finding that we can truly live abundantly because of this great Provider.

And really, I wouldn't live this stage of life any other way.

For Tomorrow

It's that time again- time to tell a friend I can't hang out because I have homework, time to print the syllabi, time to meet new students. Time to get on with the rest of my life. Rather than complaining about the start of a new semester, I'm taking comfort in these familiar things... but I'm learning that we don't find trust when we're surrounded by the familiar. When everything around me is oh-so-familiar and the norm for me, I forget to lean on God.
When the path ahead is predictable and level, I walk confidently. I need no guide.

What happens when I face a road block? When I'm faced with a new path? When I only see the unpredictable?

"Fear not tomorrow, God is already there."

These past few months have held so many unknowns. So many wonderings and wanderings. So many "what if"s and "where will we go?"s and "why"s. I've done my share of worrying and dreading, but today I release them all to the One who has plans for me. His plans are for us to prosper. His plans include hope and a future. His plans are never meant to harm me. (Jer. 29:11) His plans, although so very different from my own, work together for His good. I am called according to His purpose, therefore I will live for His purposes. (Rom. 8:28)

When the familiar is gone and the unknown is ahead, I find myself falling and trusting that the Lord will carry me on. And He carries me to places I never could have asked for or imagined. (Eph. 3:20)

When I only wrote to my husband

I have never been so inconsistent in keeping up with my blog, but I'll attribute the deserted posts to the fact that we haven't had Internet in our home since we moved in. Blogging takes a back seat when precious Internet time is spent checking oh-so-important emails at the closest coffee shop. And it's annoying.

It seems like I have spent a lot of the past year wanting and waiting for a lot of things. In the middle of Dahl Wedding chaos, my heart held desires for so many things that I could do nothing but wait for. And even now, as a married couple we wait for more.

Financial security.

A teaching job, come January.

Elimination of massive loans.

Travel across the ocean to reach lost hearts.

Direction.

With every family, couple, or individual who passes by and gains the things we so long to have, my heart can't help but plant seeds of jealousy and want. But, as He usually does, the Lord calls my yearning heart toward something better. He reminds me that He is teaching us something through the wants and the waits.

This morning I found a box that held hundreds of pages of wanting and waiting. I called it my "Forever Box," and it came to me a long time ago when my grandparents bought a coat from Forever21 and gave it to me in the box. Rather than throwing the sturdy box away, I used it to begin storing letters and momentos for my future husband... the man who is now my husband.

I wrote the first letter to my future husband when I was just 15. It was innocent, pure, and now extremely embarrassing (apparently text-talk was cool to write on paper in 2005), but it promised my husband that I was committed to waiting for him. For 7 more years, I wrote pages and pages of letters sharing with my husband and with Jesus just how excited or anxious I was about meeting my husband and staying disciplined enough to be committed to purity. Somehow, these letters and journals helped give my longing heart something to cling to because I knew that the Lord would one day provide what I wanted so badly. And if He did not provide a husband, I knew that I could be content because He had been with me through the whole waiting process and I needed no one else. When my heart gravitated toward other boys, and even when I dated D, I tried to keep my heart fixed on the man the Lord had planned for me through the contents of that little box. My waiting and wanting became subject to the Lord's plans, timing, and ultimate will. Only His.

On our wedding day, D opened the box I had reserved for him. I wish so much that I had been able to see him open it, but I think the box encouraged and lifted MY heart more than  his because of the journey I traveled to get that box into his hands! Because I was willing to wait and put all my wants in Christ, He showed me how joyful life can be if we are completely satisfied in Him. He showed me that I don't need a husband in order to be satisfied. As D read the letters from a 15- and 17-year-old Emily in the Dallas airport on the way to our honeymoon, I covered my face with my hands in embarrassment and cried in thankfulness. The Lord listened to my yearning heart and, in wisdom, waited until I had learned the lessons He had in store for me. And I am thankful.

God has always, always, always known what is best for us. He knows the right time, the right person, the best situations, and the perfect place for every.single.one.of.us. He knew that D would be the husband I wrote to for years, and He knew that our lives would look nothing like we had ever planned. He knows why we are in Louisville, looking for jobs that we never thought we'd want to do and budgeting tighter than we ever thought we'd need. He knows, and He wants us to wait to understand why on Earth we are just now finding these interesting changes of events. And He reminds me that He is sovereign over all of it by showing me journals that I wrote while waiting for my future husband.

So the only waiting that I'll keep complaining about is waiting for my hair to dry- it takes 4 hours, people.

Why I'm not like "her"

You've seen her.

She's the woman who seemingly has everything- an adoring husband and beautiful children, a spectacular house with unique style and initiative enough to pull off an immaculate interior, perfect clothes and perfect hair, and enough money to pay for whatever interests her. And everyone is always telling her that she looks like a model. Every person has a "her," and the "her" is the subject of many pitiful comparisons.

Hannah of the Bible wasn't the "her," but she lived with one who was completely obnoxious about it. In fact, she even shared "her" husband. While the other wife had many sons- the pride & credibility of an Israelite woman- Hannah lived for years as a barren wife. She had nothing, yet she finds that she possesses everything.

1 Samuel 1-2 tells the sweet story of how Hannah, in bitter despair, cried out to the Lord to grant her a child. After painful prayers, endless tears, and hopeless comparisons to "the other wife," the Lord granted her desperate plea. Hannah dedicated her son Samuel to the Lord's temple, and she left him there to serve Him for his entire life.

Although I am humbled and convicted to hear of the sacrifice of her only, God-given son, I am most comforted and blessed to hear Hannah's prayer after dedicating Samuel. Rather than simply thanking her Father for the blessing of a son and rejoicing in His provision, she praises Him for teaching her a lesson throughout the whole process.

“The bows of the warriors are broken,
but those who stumbled are armed with strength.
 Those who were full hire themselves out for food,
but those who were hungry are hungry no more.
She who was barren has borne seven children,
but she who has had many sons pines away." (2:4-5)

I'm not saying that the "her" is not blessed. I'm not saying that those with a beautiful body and perfect home (all according to the world's standards, of course) cannot have a beautiful relationship with Christ. But how can we learn of God's strength and fulfillment unless we become weak and empty?

Because of her barrenness, Hannah learned to rely on the Lord for her provision. How could she learn to rely if she already had many sons? She cried out so fiercely to the Lord that the priest thought she was drunk! Because Hannah did not have what she felt she was entitled to, she learned that the Lord was everything she needed. And as a result, when she was given the things she once thought she was entitled to, she eagerly and willingly gave it back to the Lord.

"I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him. So now I give him to the Lord. For his whole life he will be given over to the Lord." (1:27-28)

Think about what your life would really be like if you had absolutely everything you ever wanted... or even the things you felt like you needed. If you were given a husband, children, a beautiful home, lots of money, perfect academic abilities, lots of energy, and lots of friends, would you have a need for God?

Those who stumbled are now armed with strength when they find that the Lord is their refuge. Those who were hungry were fed Daily Bread and Living Water. Those who were barren found their fulfillment in their Heavenly Father, and He granted them blessings from their faithfulness.

What is it that you think you really need? I can think of a thousand different things, including a more flexible budget. I want an income and budget like "her." But instead of grieving the things I don't have, I choose to stop comparing and delight in the lessons that I am learning in this season- and one of the greatest lessons I have learned is that Jesus is enough. That tight budget is a blessing!

New name, new address, new blog, etc.

Let it be noted that my blog has changed addresses. But it's temporary- the lameness and un-originality of my blog domain makes me cringe.

Let it also be noted that we have survived one whole month of marriage! That's right, everyone- 4 weeks of wedded bliss have gone by and it feels like it has only been 4 days. Since becoming husband & wife, I have learned that I have a long way to go in the cooking realm, D is an awesome encourager, D sheds like a dog, I need to learn to drive a stick, and there is no better feeling than being able to say "good night" rather than "good bye" every single day.

Marriage is more than I could have asked for but scarier than I ever could have imagined. I have absolutely.no.earthly.idea what I am doing, and the role of "wife" still makes me shake in my boots. I have never felt so incompetent for a task in my life. But you know what? This feeling of incompetence and weakness has served to let me fall into the grace of a God who will equip me for every single good work that I need as a wife. And it's very freeing, this grace-full way of living. When I feel like a failure, He picks me up and brushes me off and juices me up to live another day on His strength. And He puts D in front of my face to tell me that he loves me despite my failures.

I love being D's wife. And I'm thankful that God is using this season to teach me more than I ever wanted to learn... even if it means plucking me out of the familiar and comfortable in order to learn those truths. Yay for marriage!

5.19.12

Our wedding day was more than I could have ever asked for.

All that anxiety over rain on our outdoor wedding, finishing programs, having enough food, making the budget, finding bridesmaid dresses, and figuring out how to wear my wild & curly hair... it was all blown to the wind for one beautiful and perfect day. And it really was perfect- I couldn't have asked for it to go any differently!

I could not have been happier to stand before a group of people I love and I know love us, alongside my best friends, praising my sweet Savior, looking straight into the face of the man I've waited for my entire life. I am so proud, blessed, and thankful to call D my husband!

The best day of my life was very easily May 19, 2012- but that day was planned out down to the minute. Every step, song, speech, and action was pre-planned by me and my amazing wedding coordinator. Now we step into unchartered waters; the unknown vastness of life as husband and wife... the life of which we know absolutely nothing about. In this unknown, we know that God can do "immeasurably more than we could ever ask for or imagine" with our momentary marriage. We know that it will only last if we keep it "rooted and established in love" that only comes from Christ-like servanthood. We have no idea what we're doing, but we know a God who can shine a bit of light down the road just ahead. He will place each foot in the place where it should next step as we cling to the promises of Ephesians 3:17-21.

I love to think about the best day of my life because it reminds me that God is faithful- but now we look forward to seeing how His faithfulness will provide for us at each step of our marriage!

The Treasures Store for Christ

What must followers of Christ give to their Maker? Everything. I don't think I fully comprehend what it means to give up everything for His sake, but I'm learning. God wants to be the driving force behind every possession, event, relationship, word, action, and plan. We fail to see His divine purpose for us when we cling too tightly to what we feel we deserve or are entitled to- and I think that our view of "sacrifice" is skewed to the point where it's difficult for us to truly sacrifice, even if we try!

Abraham sacrificed Isaac, his only son, simply because God told him to. Abraham loved Isaac dearly; perhaps he loved Isaac more than anything else in the world.
Ruth sacrificed the option of going back to her home country- where promise of marriage, family, and prosperity await- in order to stay faithful to Naomi.
Daniel sacrificed his life and security (though only for a time) in order to spend time in prayer with the Lord.
Paul put himself into dangerous situations everyday- imprisoned and tortured, even- in order that others may know the truth of the Gospel.

"And shouldst Thou ask me to resign what most I prize- it ne'er was mine, I only give Thee what is Thine- Thy will be done." -The Little Flock Hymnal

Sacrifice and love for God is much more costly than we crack it up to be- and I feel that we've lost touch with the great cost of following Christ. I don't take it with enough seriousness; I often give some of my money and time to good things in hopes that it will please the Lord enough to keep receiving His love. What does it mean to "pour at His feet the treasures store" of earthly things, which abound all around me? What does the Lord require of me?

Take my life and let it be consecrated, Lord, to Thee.
Take my moments and my days, let them flow in endless praise.
Take my hands and let the move at the impulse of Thy love.
Take my feet and let them be swift and beautiful for Thee.
Take my voice and let me sing always, only for my King!
Take my lips and let them be filled with messages from Thee.
Take my silver and my gold; not a mite would I withhold.
Take my intellect and use every power as Thou shalt choose.
Take my will and make it Thine; it shall be no longer mine.
Take my heart, it is Thine own; it shall be Thy royal throne.
Take my love, my Lord, I pour at Thy feet its treasures store.
Take myself and I will be ever, only, all for Thee.

Take My Life and Let it Be, by Frances Havergal